so its been months since ive gone near this thing. i forgot. my computer also doesnt function.


anyway... ive quit home depot and now work at lowes. im there 90% of the time. thats my life haha.


figuring my life out. yeah kacey's plan sounds pretty killer right about now.  :)

the biggest nerd that i know. truth be told.

i want warm weather sooooooo bad. this week has been a tease. the other day i sat in my car with all the windows down just writing and listening to joy division! it was really good. reminded me of summertime.


im not a hundred percent sure that i made a good choice last night. i decided to talk to her because i was feeling lonely. night before valentines day. stupid maybe. maybe not. maybe ill never do it again.

im so tired. like all the time. but that doesnt mean that i can sleep. and even if i do get enough sleep i still dont feel ok. ugh.


sometimes i get so tense i feel like i cant function at all.


but i still find happiness in small things. so at the base of it all im ok.


in less than a month ill be 21. that seems so unreal to me. i feel old and at the same time so young.

tomorrow is elaine's birthday!!! exciting things will happen i think haha


in other news the kills are coming may 5 and im ridiculously fucking excited.



yeah

the semester has started off well enough. im glad to say. i like my classes. like my professors. can actually pay attention.


it snowed today but i worked so it wasnt a point of excitement. but! there were cute cupcakes.


im eager for warmer weather and all the joys that come along.  soooooooooooo eager!

things can be scary when you admit them aloud to someone else. yeah they can.


skee ball at funworld is a healthy way to get rid of aggression.  elaine, lisa, and i took lisa's kids tonight. haha i feel better.


cate blanchett makes an awesome bob dylan  :)


john comes home sunday!

stephanie leaves sunday :(

i miss being able to call lauren for silly adventures.

for the first time in years i can really say i cant wait til my birthday

so this vaca has been interesting one and it seems like its lasted forever. i still have until the end of the month wow.  i wont bore you with the bad shit thats happened... ima just share the good...


ive spent most of my time with elaine, lauren, and stephanie. enough said. ive had some time to do some soul searching and figure things out too. theres been time to relax and time for adventures. i have new goals. im working toward them at a reasonable pace, i think.    :)

eric carrico has helped me understand things and gather some direction. intelligent conversation always wins.

ok... so i need to be better at guitar hero by the time stephanie gets back from italy. cuz... i REALLY REALLY suck hahaha.

its time to get the blood flowing

24 hours into the new year and all ive truly felt is apathy. scaryyyyy.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!

i gave out the first christmas present today. it was a batman action figure to kait cuz she suuuper loves batman. ive never seen someone get so excited over something small. it was adorable and made me smile a lot.  :)

its almost present giving time. im more excited about that than getting presents.

1.being able to make people smile
2.my blue christmas lights and hot pink foot tall christmas tree
3.visiting binx and spooner at work
4.long talks with chris and elaine
5.sending christmas cards
6.random invites to hang out with my cousin laura
7.john, just in general
8.the kills
9.feeling like i helped
10.late night IMs from stephanie

ok. lots of ice. a little scared to drive to work.

im almost done christmas shopping. what a relief.

i hate insurance companies. all of them are a pain in the ass.

jackie's moving to alabama  :( a bit disheartening.

... i have so much to say right now...


...but im not sure how...

the beach is soothing and beautiful even in decmber :)

for now i have my car back.   :)


last night was an interested adventure. learned a lot.